Soli Deo Gloria

 I've been reading and re-reading the 1st chapter of "The Practice of the Presence of God" looking for truths that I may have missed. One thing that Bro Lawrence said that really grips my attention is "We ought to give ourselves up to God with regard both to things temporal and spiritual and seek our satisfaction only in the fulfilling of His will. Whether God led us by suffering or by consolation all would be equal to a soul truly resigned." This feels quite profound to a person in their late 40's. The idea of it was taught in my youth and I knew even then that suffering had its own merits, however, when you find yourself having to make decisions that could lead down the path of a starving artist, you (I) can question whether suffering and living without is a great decision especially when you have other people in your care. 

I have to remind myself that Pastors and missionaries make these decision every day. Not a few PK's and MK's have complained to me over the years over their parent's choices that had an adverse effect on their lives. I suppose it is possible that some of those parents made decisions for their families that were not in fact under God's guidance but I also wonder how many of those children who claim to have suffered had not at that point in their lives found the beauty and freedom that comes with giving their life away? We all come to it at different points, some younger and some quite older. Living comfortably could mean something quite varied to those seeking temporal things and those seeking spiritual. I am still learning what this means. 

In the spring of 1994 during a chapel service at Asbury, the Lord spoke some words to me that I have not forgotten. He said "I am not here to glorify you. You are here to glorify me." Those words felt rather harsh at the time because I knew He knew that I was looking for some kind of fulfillment for myself and recognition from others. The tears began to roll down my cheeks as I stood in the presence of the One who created me and who gave me anything worthy of anything. However, just as quickly as I heard those first words, more words came. He said "Your tears will be turned to joy." What a sweet salve of healing washed over me and though I had no idea then of what this would mean, I have felt these words come true time and time again. Even now, I know that I haven't fully realized the extent that these words will continue to heal and come to pass and yet I know that they are a promise to me from my Creator, especially coinciding with my ability and desire to give Him all the glory for the good in my life and in the world. 

Soli Deo gloria. Glory to God alone. 

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